Sometimes God looks down on his creation and sees something so beautiful that he lovingly takes it for himself.
The loss of a child is certainly a devastating experience. My beautiful Abigail Rose passed peacefully into God’s loving arms on Aug. 25. She was three and a half years old.
I am profoundly proud of my daughter for several accomplishments. Despite her medical challenges, she displayed tremendous strength and will to succeed.
Her will manifests a beautiful life story and a witness to God’s endless love if we simply humble ourselves and listen to his subtle signs of grace.
To my greatest teacher, my Abigail Rose, this is what I have learned from you.
Unconditional Love
She was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate and lobar holoprosencephaly. At 20 weeks gestation, many specialized doctors offered their consistently changing medical insights of all the scenarios of quality and expectancy of life. Almost all of the scenarios never came to fruition, yet their lack of empathy instilled fear.
Post gestation, Abigail’s ability to adapt to her surroundings given her superficial limitations demonstrated an incredible strength and will. Her eyes became the channel of articulation, and those eyes spoke louder and clearer than most words.
Through her eyes, my family and I are reminded of what God calls all of us to do to receive the kingdom of heaven: love unconditionally. Her eyes spoke pure, innocent love because as a three-year-old that is all she knew.
Matthew 18:1-4 conveys: “At that time the disciples approached Jesus and said, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, ‘Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.’”
As adults, and in the context of today’s society, loving unconditionally can be a difficult challenge. However, this is a quality that all children can offer adults. Simply look into their eyes and notice purely the face of God.
Gazing into Abigail’s eyes and seeing love penetrate my heart is a simple reminder of the most authentic wisdom. Her limitations never interfered with her will at working to become independent and to articulate the purest love for her family.
So beautiful is my daughter’s love to remind me of this notion.
Authentic Wisdom
Wisdom is rooted in knowing the essence of this life and not faltering from the endpoint as we are all called to a state of holiness.
Abigail, at only three and a half, is a testament to this calling. I owe her tremendous gratitude for demonstrating a living model as to how one ought to follow our Church’s beautiful teaching of being a disciple of Christ, which is to love and trust in God. This is purely all and everything she did as she knew nothing else.
Since Abigail’s passing, I have spent time internalizing her through pictures and videos. In a way, it is a channel for me to still feel her presence. Most importantly, it is a foundation for understanding how to authentically live life.
When life begins at conception, humanity only has a set number of years of life, and this number is unfathomable in comparison to eternity. Death is not subjected specifically for my daughter, but for all of humanity, originating through temptation in the Garden of Eden.
As humans, we never know when the face of death will look us in the eyes, and we are facing eternal judgment in front of God.
My sweet princess, thank you for reaffirming wisdom. The wisdom in knowing the principles of what God simply asks humanity: love and follow him.
Joy of Family
At the moment of her passing, she displayed a tremendous strength that I cannot define. It was not a strength of fight but rather a strength in conviction of love, especially love for family.
My wife is of the traditional large Catholic family, and there are many children that crowd the in-laws house during gatherings. Regardless of the number, everyone will testify that Abigail got her way: watching Cocomelon.
On a lighthearted note, University of Michigan could be playing Michigan State University, but if Abigail is there, Cocomelon was on the television.
She masterfully manipulated her four uncles into giving in to her wishes without saying a word.
It was her four uncles, moreover, acting like her bodyguards who served as pallbearers in bringing Abigail to our Lord at the altar of her funeral Mass. Outside of the warrior angel Michael himself, the strength of family unified in a conviction of love for God is a testament to Abigail’s life’s message.
She was and still is the central point of her family who embrace her memory. She literally mended family relationships that were previously astray and did so by saying nothing.
It is a beautiful witness to the life of a child who, through the spirit of her mother, knew what a good fight is all about.
Memory Eternal
I have been asked by individuals, with no answers intended, how does one move on from such an event. Truth be told, you never move on as I will always have part of myself in my daughter’s grave. I visit the grave almost every day and pray through her intercession to guide and safeguard my family.
As Catholics, the Easter spirit fills our hearts and radiates through our actions.
As Christ died on the cross for the salvation of humanity, my daughter’s passing into eternal life has inspired my fatherhood. I am committed to my wife and boys in a deeper and more self-sacrificing manner.
I use Abigail’s life as inspiration for my own holiness. Not from a holier-than-thou perspective, but rather a self-sacrificing humility as a rock for my family.
Her loving witness to truth is a foundation to build on and share so her life’s qualities bring other people into a deeper relationship with God.
Through the eyes of a child and God’s divine will could such strides be accomplished in this life.
Sweet Abigail Rose: your life’s story authentically sings glory to our king.
Through the canons and catechism of Holy Mother Church, there is nothing to believe otherwise than a direct and immediate ascension into heaven for my daughter. An ascension that, as promised in the eloquence of Benedictus Deus, my sweet princess has seen and will continue to see the beatific vision for eternity.
These are the words that bring healing and comfort, but also a sense of guidance for my life. Through his passion and crucifixion, Christ promises all the faithful the same beautiful ending. The challenge rests in bearing one’s cross and following him.
To the wider diocesan community and abroad, please pray for her and through her intercession. May her body remain in a state of incorruption, and be it God’s divine will that the Nuncio calls inquiring about Abigail Rose.
To my princess, sweet Abigail Rose, pray for us!
