With great wisdom and genuine love shared over the last 50 years, Deacon Jim and Frances Krupka are a model and witness to God’s love for his creation. Reaching their golden milestone anniversary in 2023, the Krupkas present an authentic understanding of complete self-giving of oneself for the desires and interests of one’s spouse.
They share their insightful wisdom into building a successful marriage with couples planning on celebrating the Sacrament of Matrimony within the Catholic Church. Currently, Deacon Jim and Frances teach marriage preparation classes at St. Francis of Assisi Parish in Traverse City.
The Triangle of Marriage
Their mission in marriage preparation classes, and for the vocation itself, is to bring God to the center of all relationships and discussions for those preparing for matrimony and working to deepen their marriage.
When God is present in a marriage, the bond is authentically enriched by the graces he bestows upon the couple. This organically strengthens the domestic church and ultimately secular society.
As Deacon Jim states, “I am a vigorous advocate for marriage as well as an advocate for elevating this vocation in our church.”
Good marriages build a strong domestic church, and the domestic church pours itself into society to prevent the societal ills prevalent in the secular culture.
The Krupkas understand the inherent good that marriage is for the domestic unit and society; their efforts in preparing and promoting the covenant is God working through them to do his will for humanity.
“A successful marriage is rooted in the vision of God’s love for the human race and a replication of this love through a covenant commitment,” says Deacon Jim. “As man and wife, we need to get back to the innocence of the Garden of Eden prior to its sinful falling.”
Healthy marriages exemplify the values necessary for growing in holiness, specifically that of self-sacrifice.
In his book, “Make your Marriage Unbreakable: Ten Steps to a Lifetime of Joy in an Unbreakable, Divorce-Proof Marriage,” he writes, “As a deacon, I share celebrations of lifelong marriages most visible at things like weddings of adult children, golden anniversaries and funerals. In those times, stories are shared that bring out the real deal of a joyful marriage that often go unnoticed.”
Oneness & Sacrifice
The stories offer depth and richness in how couples overcame obstacles united in oneness and sacrificed one’s desires for one’s partner. This is the inherent model God calls humanity to follow for humanity’s eternal offering at the heavenly banquet.
Bishop Walsh advances the richness of the book: “Deacon Jim Krupka’s book is a rich treatise on marriage from a strong faith perspective. For decades, Deacon Jim and his wife Frances have been self-proclaimed ‘marriage optimists and advocates,’ with 50 years in the covenant of marriage to prove it.
Frances stress the importance
of keeping God at the
center of one's marriage.
“A few chapter headings will give you a flavor of the kind of solid theological roots and practical wisdom shared in the pages of the book: ‘The Treasure God gave us that lives on from the Garden of Paradise’; ‘Money and Finances: A Marriage Maker or Breaker,’ and ‘Choosing Natural Family Planning: More than Just because the Church says.’ We are blessed to have the diaconal ministry of Jim Krupka in the Diocese of Gaylord and pray his passion for holy matrimony will continue to help and inspire us all.”
Through this book and their own covenant model, the Krupkas demonstrate God’s graces for couples and the inherent good God desires for humanity. A joyful marriage is one where God is in control and uses the couple to grow in holiness through negotiating the practicalities and challenges of life. This is the narrative the Krupkas work to highlight.
Deacon Jim reflects on how St. Pope John Paul II articulates the innocence of man and woman in the garden and the beloved covenant God desires for us. This, as Deacon Jim attests, is the original design of marriage.
Common Red Flags
When asked what the driving factor is for an unsuccessful marriage, Deacon Jim affirms that it is those factors that conflict with the original vision of God.
“Couples must be honest with each other as they enter the covenant, and honesty starts with the three questions asked of couples at the nuptial Mass.”
- Are you as individuals within a couple entering into marriage with full knowledge and under your own free will?
- Are you both entering this marriage for life?
- Are each of you, as you become a couple, open to being partners with God and continuing the human race?
“Most annulments resort to a flaw in fully understanding and honestly answering these three questions,” offers Deacon Jim.
Financial matters and infidelity, or something originating from these natures, frequently top the reasons for divorce and annulments. “When I work with couples who run into money problems it is usually because they do not know how to use money,” he remarks.
He offers practical wisdom in addressing money that essentially is rooted in open and honest dialogue between couples. When one spouse does not know monetary matters, problems will likely arise. Financial discussion on how resources ought to be utilized and living within and under a healthy budget often remedy challenges within a marriage.
Importance of Honesty
Honesty is the focal point of a healthy marriage. “Couples need to be honest with themselves and their backgrounds. They need to understand the basic elements of differing personalities, differences and family dynamics.”
Deacon Jim references the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator as a good practical guide for understanding perspectives of couples and notes that this guide can help generate dialogue between couples on common conversation points that each couple ought to be having in preparation for and living in marriage.
The covenant of marriage offers couples to be fully open to their weaknesses and vulnerabilities as they are being honest with themselves, he adds. The level of honesty offers a sense of humility in being honest to God and ultimately adopting the virtues of holiness that he calls from humanity.
“God’s love for humanity is articulated in man’s love for his wife in marriage,” he offers. This love is cultivated and brought to fruition in prayer.
Ninety-seven percent of marriages will survive if prayer is regularly part of the marriage, and the statistics are there to verify, he attests. “Prayer can be as simple as to pray before meals. The idea is to incorporate prayer and continue to advance prayer within the marriage.”
According to a recently published “Washington Post” article, in Michigan, the marriage rate has fallen 24 percent from 1999 to 2021. Over the same period, the divorce rate in Michigan has fallen 39.5 percent. As Deacon Jim points out, “We need to pray for the vocation of marriage.”
“We need to encourage young people and really pray for them. Do not make them think that marriage is a scary, second-tier vocation,” he adds.
“It is the vocation that offers the foundation for all other vocations.” It is a special oneness and a self-giving that unites two people; it is best demonstrated as when one weeps, the other will taste the salt.
May God continue to bless the holy sacrament of matrimony.
